WEB PERSONAL ADS - WHAT READERS SAY

Christmas and New Year can be one of the loneliest times of the year for some folks. With the increasing popularity of the internet, more and more people are turning to personal ads. to meet friends, not just for Christmas but hopefully also for a longer term relationship.

We asked 3 users of LYC advertisements how they go about surfing the net and enjoying the 'personal ads.' You may learn something from their answers… even though you may not agree with what they say!

James 24, is a university student in international communications from Beijing, but he now lives in Boston, Mass. In Europe, we have Jean-Paul, a French engineer in Paris. And in Sydney, Australia, Cesario, a Filipino guy who is a newly qualified doctor.

In your view, what makes the best personal ads?

James: Genuine people. So many advertisers are just not what they say. I have come across someone who called himself masculine, but in reality he was so camp; another who said he was 30, but a blind man could tell he was nearly 50. One guy said he was a director - he was a director alright, he was a funeral director!

Jean-Paul: Someone who gives you the important information: their physical description, their likes and dislikes, and what kind of person and type of friendship they are looking for. Oh, very important is where they live. Some people place ads and do not mention where they are located. There is no point, with me living in France, in trying to build a friendship with someone in Miami, Florida. At best, we could only meet very occasionally. If he lived only a couple of hundred kilometers away, say in Brussels, Amsterdam or London, that would be good. Better still, he lives in Paris!

Cesario: I would just leave things open and have NO EXPECTATIONS. That is the best way, I think. I just read the ad., and reply if I fancy him, and take it from there! Really, the best ads. are the ones with photos. Wording is one thing, but a picture tells a thousand words!

If you reply to an ad, what would you say?

James: I would begin with something simple like "I like your ad" and introduce myself.

Jean-Paul: It depends on what the advertiser says. I try to 'feel' what he is looking for and would like to hear, and I write my email message accordingly - I can do that in French, German and English!

Cesario: I would enclose my photo with my reply. I would tell the advertiser why I like his ad. and how we might be compatible.

What has been your best experience or have you met anyone special?

James: I have met nice people, yes, but no one special until recently. Before I went to Los Angeles, last year, I placed an ad and met with an American guy who was really my type. We had good sex. He was hairy, well-endowed, a great kisser, and he was so masculine. Wow! I was rather sad that I only stayed a week in LA with him before I left. However, the best experience for me is I have now met my Mr. Right, and he lives right here in Boston.

Jean-Paul: I met with an Asian guy through the Long Yang Club personal ads. and we were together for three years. I introduced him to the LYC Paris Tuesday night disco in Bar London. Sadly, he met with someone else there and he has left me for him! He was special, and I have not met anyone like him since. Currently, I am corresponding with a guy in Beijing. I know I will not be able to have a full relationship with him, but I have been to China to see him, and it has been a nice experience.

Cesario: The best experience I had was when a Kiwi guy I wrote to liked me. Or at least he said he liked my picture. And I kinda liked him. However, he lives in Auckland and I'm in Sydney. We had a 'hot' and 'steamy' relationship for two years. Our phone bill came to a small fortune! Eventually, he broke it off as he met with a local Asian guy in his city. I was heartbroken. A less painful experience was meeting with someone with whom I've corresponded for two years now, as a platonic friend. He is so funny, and although he lives in London, we feel like we are such good friends. Great thing about personal ads on the web, you do meet with people from all over the world, literally.

What has been your worst experience?

James: I met this married guy but, before we had sex, he was talking to me all evening about his wife. I think he felt guilty about being gay. I fell asleep and did not have sex at all. Another time, I met with an Italian-American guy who seemed to be obsessed with things Chinese. When we had sex, he had to make me say things in Chinese so that it would turn him on! I did not know what things to say, so I just said some swear words, and he was really aroused by them - just as well he did not know what they meant!

Jean-Paul: I corresponded with this guy who said he was Asian, and he turned out to an old French queen pretending to be one. He even came up with an Asian name and used somebody else's photo. That was not nice, but thankfully it does not happen often!

Cesario: Meeting with that Kiwi guy (above) has been my best and worst experience!

Have you placed an ad on the internet recently, and if so, what has been your experience?

James: I have indeed. I put my photo in it, and I received 15 replies every day, for three weeks! Of course, they were from people from different parts of the world, but I was so pleased that I was so desirable! Now I have met my life partner, I have not placed any more ads. but I still surf the net and enjoy reading some of the ads.

Jean-Paul: Not recently, but I may do so soon. The trouble is, many free advertising websites for gay Asians and non-Asians don't allow you to have a picture. One of the few exceptions is the Long Yang Club Personal ads. I'd like to place one with a picture soon.

Cesario: Yes, I have. I have to admit that I 'glossed up' my ad to make me seem a bit more attractive. I took of 5 years off my age, told the world about my best features (and avoided my weaknesses), but I did send in my current photo, so there was no lying there! I got about 100 replies but only 10 came from my city.

What turns you on or off in a reply?

James: Someone who is what he says he is - sexy, horny, but masculine and caring. That turns me on. What turns me off is someone who says he's handsome and the picture he sends looks like a cross between a donkey and Phil Silvers!

Jean-Paul: Someone who is sincere turns me on. What turns me off is someone who writes to you for a while and then stops writing to you without giving any reason. I find that to be rather impolite.

Cesario: Someone who talks about sex from the word go turns me off. What turns me on is a romantic guy who still values the magic of romance. Oh, what a sentimental guy I am.

Are there any tips for guys to be cautious about?

James: Before you reply to a personal ad., please read it carefully and find out what the guy is actually looking for. If he is from abroad and visiting, you can expect it to be 'no-strings'.

Jean-Paul: Just enjoy the ads….but if you want a serious relationship, go for someone who lives locally or near enough so you can see each other often. Do not believe everything the advertiser says.

Cesario: The personals on the internet is a fun place to make friends. However, although I have friends who have found their life partners there, I am skeptical about it until I find my Mr. Right!

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